Chunztenz

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Part Two: Part Two: Growing Up, Letting Go, and Finding Him Again

When I was younger, I used to believe life moved in straight lines.

I thought people entered our lives for a reason and stayed there forever. I thought crushes either turned into love stories or simply disappeared. Nobody tells you that life is much more complicated than that.

Nobody tells you that sometimes a person can quietly travel alongside you for years without ever truly becoming a part of your life.

Nobody tells you that timing can become its own love story.

After that afternoon at Deer Park, life simply carried on.

I returned to North India.

He stayed in the South.

And we slowly continued growing up.

Back then, growing up felt slower than it does now.

We didn’t have social media consuming our every waking moment. We didn’t have instant access to every detail of another person’s life. If you missed someone, you truly missed them.

Sometimes I would call him.

Sometimes he would call me.

Sometimes I would ask my cousins about him.

Every single time.

Some of them happily entertained me and gave me updates. Others would roll their eyes and get annoyed because they knew exactly who I was asking about.

Then one day, I heard he had a girlfriend.

I don’t know why it made me sad.

After all, he wasn’t my boyfriend.

We had never confessed our feelings.

We had never promised each other anything.

But somehow, hearing that felt like closing a tiny chapter I had secretly kept open in my heart.

Around that same time, someone else entered my life.

He was my Yahoo Messenger friend.

He was older than me and a senior at school. I remember him being a genuinely kind person.

One day, his brother passed away.

The entire school gathered to pray for his brother, and I remember feeling incredibly sad for him.

After school, I went to a cyber café and sent him a message.

“I am sorry for your loss. I will always be here if you ever need someone to talk to.”

I never expected that message to change anything.

But the very next day, he asked me to be his girlfriend.

I was 13 years old. it was september

And at thirteen years old, saying no felt impossible.

Especially to someone who had just lost his brother.

So I said yes.

And just like that, I had my first official school boyfriend.

Back then, love was so different.

Our generation loved differently.

There were no dating apps.

There were no endless text messages.

There were no fancy dinners or expensive gifts.

We wrote letters.

Long letters.

We waited days to receive replies.

A kiss was a huge deal.

Even seeing the person you liked from a distance could make your entire day.

My first boyfriend was genuinely one of the sweetest people I have ever known.

Every day, he wrote me letters.

Every occasion came with giant greeting cards.

He would send his friends to call me out of class while lectures were still going on.

Then he would take me to the canteen.

We would sit there eating shabaklep and challenge each other to Sprite drinking competitions.

He was such a lover boy.

He made sure I ate properly.

He wanted me to be happy.

At one point, he even stayed back a year so he could become my classmate.

Eventually, he tattooed my name onto his wrist.

Looking back now, I know he loved me deeply.

And I cared about him too.

I cannot say I didn’t.

Because I did.

I have always loved being loved.

I have always appreciated people who make me feel seen.

But every time I was with him, my heart kept travelling somewhere else.

Back to South India.

Back to Deer Park.

Back to a blue Hero Honda motorcycle.

Back to a boy who gave me butterflies without ever trying.

I tried to ignore it.

For a while, I convinced myself it would disappear.

But it never did.

Eventually, I gathered the courage to tell him the truth.

I confessed that there was someone else I had never truly forgotten. and my bestfriends used to lothe him too

Soon after that, i broke up with him.

I broke his heart.

Even now, a small part of me still feels guilty about it.

But back then, friendships meant everything to me, and I knew I couldn’t continue being with someone who disliked my friends so much.

That was love during our time.

Simple.

Messy.

Honest.

Back then, our house still had a home phone.

If we made calls to another state, it was considered an STD call, and it was expensive.

I had developed a terrible habit.

I would wait for everyone in the house to go to sleep.

Then I would quietly pick up the phone and spend hours talking.

Sometimes to my cousins.

Sometimes to my friends.

Sometimes to the guy in south.

I was part of a generation that loved deeply.

i grew up in a house hold that love deep.

We talked for hours.

We felt things intensely.

And perhaps that is why, even today, I walk away when I don’t feel that same depth.

One month, the phone bill came out to nearly ten thousand rupees.

I remember my aunt being absolutely furious.

I was terrified.

I thought my life was over.

But secretly, I still smiled because those late night conversations had become some of my favourite memories.

Then came 2009.

I changed schools.

Life slowly started changing too.

By then, he would occasionally call the girls’ hostel phone.

I remember feeling sad, though I couldn’t quite explain why.

I never had the courage to ask him if he had a girlfriend.

I had also heard that one of my cousins liked him.

Suddenly, all those little pieces felt like obstacles.

Distance became an excuse.

So one day, I told him not to call me anymore.

I lied and said I had a boyfriend.

The truth was, I didn’t.

Maybe I was trying to protect myself.

Or maybe I simply thought it was easier to let him go.

Years passed.

Then came 2011.

I moved to Delhi.

And one of my proudest moments arrived.

I got accepted into Miranda House.

Back then, getting into Miranda House was a huge accomplishment.

It was considered one of the best colleges in India, and only exceptional students got in.

I was proud of myself.

For the first time, my world became much bigger.

Delhi opened doors I never knew existed.

I met so many people.

I made countless friends.

Girls.

Boys.

New experiences.

Fresh beginnings.

As a freshman, life felt exciting.

Facebook had become part of everyday life by then.

Around that same time, I heard from people that he was in another settlement and was in a serious relationship.

The girl turned out to be one of my first cousin’s friends.

Strangely enough, I felt both sad and happy for him at the same time.

As years pass, we tend to forget people when we aren’t in touch with them.

At least, that’s what we tell ourselves.

Then one day in 2011, he messaged me on Facebook out of the blue.

I was sitting in Delhi, living my college life, and for absolutely no reason, I was annoyed with him.

Maybe I was annoyed because seeing his name brought back memories I thought I had buried.

Maybe I was annoyed because I was angry at myself for still caring.

I don’t know.

I remember not replying properly.

Then he asked if I had a boyfriend.

I remember becoming irritated because I didn’t.

Later, I found out that he had been in Delhi and was about to leave for the United States.

Sometimes I think about that.

If I had known sooner, maybe I would have met him.

Maybe we would have sat down for coffee.

Maybe we would have laughed about Deer Park.

Maybe we would have walked around Delhi together.

Or maybe nothing would have happened at all.

Life is funny that way.

We never really know.

Then came 2012.

We chatted again briefly.

But life was becoming busier for both of us.

He seemed occupied.

I seemed occupied.

And eventually, we drifted apart again.

I genuinely thought that chapter of my life had ended.

Little did I know, life wasn’t done with us.

Because 2013 would become another year where our paths crossed unexpectedly.

And once again, timing would have its own plans for us.

To be continued… ❤️