Missed me?
.
.
.
I bet you did 🙂
Hello everyone, Its been ages since I last got here. Took a huge break for I kinda lost track of my life. But trust me, I will be very regular from now onwards. lets sum up this blog with reasons why I took a huge break for nearly 2 years
“This is coming from a very personal space that I have only recently gathered the courage to open up about. Like depression, I felt a certain stigma attached to heartbreak, and I almost felt embarrassed and awkward talking about it publicly but then whenever I think about what i went through, I feel the urge to talk about it more without any hesitation because i think of all the people struggling to cope up with heartbreak that I can help sharing my thoughts and my struggles. “
Its 2018 and I am still learning to let go of my past. The only reason I am able to talk about it now is because I am HEALED and i will tell you in right about a second from now why that is extremely important.
2016 was an emotional rollercoaster for me because I went through a very rough and a toxic phase of my personal life that I am very sure that a lot of you are not aware about. It was sad, extremely sad. I was a type of girl who has a very old school take on love. I believe in love, loyalty, fairy tales and everything that comes along with it. For me to not get anything from my relationship tore me apart.I let it affect my work, my life and everyone around me. I started distancing myself from my friends, family and the world itself. I started having anxiety issues that i still have from time to time. my mood still dips suddenly whenever I think about why all of this had to happen to me or why the person i loved with all my heart turned to be such a human. But I do not blame him at all, perhaps its me that lacks something.
A bad relation taught me how to value love more, It taught me to be more grateful to my family who understood me from day one, stood by me and acted like my best friends. My actual best friends. I became so much indebted to them and found a soul sister in them. I realised I have such incredible friends who wanted to see me happy, and thats all they really wanted. They are even ready to punch the guy in the face.
The relation taught me how to love myself because I have forgotten to, because I was too busy loving someone else. It made me realise how strong I was.
I learnt to let go off people who no longer serve me right. Its very important to let go of your past and heal yourself.
If anyone is no longer fighting to make it right, let it go
if anyone is not making any efforts to get you back, let it go
let it go because people who didn’t fight for you, don’t deserve you.
The fact that you are feeling pain means your heart is of gold. It has so much love to give, so why do you want to waste it on someone who isn’t worth it?
People close to me told me in 2017 “You know who is at loss here? he is, not you. and i am not saying that because you have a bright future behind you or because you are beautiful or talented but he lost a person who loved him like there is no tomorrow. and what did you lose? someone who didn’t love you. that in my eyes is not losing but winning”
It hit me real hard. So that year I decided to not give too much love to people who don’t deserve it. but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it because I kept going back to the people who has already moved on with his life. I was too hard on myself for still feeling those emotions of love for someone toxic as this, for being not able to let go off the past. But then as 2018 neared, I learnt to embrace heartbreak, I cried, I cried so much, And then I saw how I wasn’t valued. and I left, I left the negative space and it felt so much better. Its like a huge weight has been lifted off the shoulder. Its like living your life for YOU again, and I finally learnt to move on. It feels so much better, Trust me! I welcomed every offers that come my way, appreciated all the love i received. Got to know who are actually there during the time I wasn’t myself. Life’s back to its track. and its moving the right way
Lastly I want to convey the next message to those who are going through heart breaks;
“Initially you wont be able to. Right now you probably feel like the world is over. But trust me, one day you will only if you try. Because you deserve love. You deserves to be someones first and only choice, you deserve to get pampered. You deserve everything because you are capable of loving someone unconditionally. Now get back up and walk out in the world, Its waiting for you to conquer it!”
Talk to me, I will be available 24X7 if you want to. dont keep it to yourself.
lots of love!
xoxo
Chunztenz 
Leave a comment